Spanish Fly

Spanish Fly

Now normally when it comes to creatures of nature, our philosophy is ‘live and let live’. We have a rigid no kill policy. Wasps are free to bother our picnics, slugs and snails though not welcome in the garden are never killed and the woodlice that frequent our living room are treated like small pets.

Mrs Wally ‘Don’t flush them down the loo!

‘Wally ‘But they’re essentially aquatic creatures like shrimps.’

Apparently not.

Our house has been visited by several species of birds, the occasional fox we even had a bat crawl into our living room on all fours. Each in turn was released unmolested. But let’s face it we all have our limits, lines must be drawn, everyone must know where they stand.

When an animal attempts to consume you, in your own bed, while you are asleep, that is pushing the bounds of acceptable behaviour. No-one wants to wake up to a scene from ‘Mr and Mrs Elephant Man’, blotchy and swollen bodies are not aesthetically pleasing.

Counter measures were deployed to little effect until patience was stretched beyond limits, death was the ultimate solution and I wasn’t prepared to die!

After several weeks of bloody attrition we’ve formed an amicable agreement with our tormenters, we offer them a small amount of our blood and in return they don’t give a ****. Let’s face it you can’t bargain with an anarchist.

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