Afore Ye Go

We’ve never been away from our home for six months, six weeks; yes.

Six weeks away in the summer? How hard can it be? That depends on the sort of person you are. Are you the walk out of your home and lock the door as you leave sort of person? The fussy, strip the beds and empty the fridge type, or the very very fussy, clean your home from top to bottom, tidy the garden to within an inch of its life, and appoint someone to house-sit fanatic. We fall lazily into the shut the door and go group. But we’re not going for six weeks, we’re going for 6 months, in the winter. We need to up our game.

It’s not simply winter that draws on, it’s the winter of our lives that’s closing in fast, and we want to run from both, as fast as our decrepit old legs will carry us.

The truth is, that, because we’re grown ups, we can’t leggit without a look back, and can’t bust a move without a lot of preparation, and/or help. We know that during the winter the plumbing freezes and power fails, and not just the house. Stuff had to be done before the great escape so we made a list and began ticking off the days and jobs as months passed. Things were completed, added, or removed as time passed.

None of it is simple, you see we have no kitchen, not even a building to fit kitchen units and white goods in to. We live in a one up one down house, the kitchen has to be tacked onto the outside of our little box we call home. What happened to the kitchen extension we had? Oh, p-lease don’t ask. I will say that the sofa went to the tip and the cooker and fridge are now in the living room, the only room on the ground floor. There was a lot for us to do and a lot of tea to drink, before we left the UK for winter in our little red T4 VW camper van.

We made a 4 minute, in depth, movie of how we prepared to leave our home empty for 6 months. We hope it inspires you to follow us to the sun. If you’re of a delicate disposition, you may want to look away NOW!

Enjoy.

Twas The Night T4 Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not one single fight

The stockings were hung by the campers with care

In the hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there

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The campers were nestled in snug sleeping bags

While visions of sugar plums were dancing in cags

And mum in her T4 and I in my bus

Had just settled our brains for a long winters ZZZZZ

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When out in the campsite there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my bunk to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a Hind

Tore open the curtains and threw up the blind 

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The moon on the breast of the new fallen reveller

Gave the lustre of mid-day to she who’d fell over

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a miniature whiskey – no glass, “Oh dear!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In a face like chopped liver, her eyes lively and quick

Stared in amazement, “It must be St Nick”

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On Cupid! On, on Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of that T4! To the top of it’s roof

Now dash away! Dash away! Give it some hoof!”

(Google it if you fancy reading the original version)

with apologies to anon